What Parents Wish They Had Known Before Their Child Started Nursery
Starting nursery, preschool, or reception is a big step, sometimes more for parents than children! Even confident toddlers can find drop-offs, new routines, unfamiliar adults and a room full of other children overwhelming. If you’re feeling nervous or quietly wondering, “Will they be okay?”, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many parents feel the same way.
Much of the reassurance below comes from the everyday experience of Early Years practitioners like Lisa McKie, who has worked with children aged one to five for over 20 years in nursery and preschool settings. While every child is different, the worries parents bring are often the same and the patterns professionals see are very familiar. Read more about how Lisa’s nursery helps children to settle by creating play areas that feel safe and familiar. Home Corner article
Is it normal for my child to find settling into nursery hard?
Yes. While some children walk into a new setting without any trouble, many children aged two to four find settling into nursery or preschool emotionally challenging at first. This doesn’t mean something is wrong. Children need time to understand new routines, get to know new adults and to truly understand that their parents will always come back. Settling in is a gradual process.
How long does it usually take children to settle?
There is no fixed timeline. Some children settle quickly while others take several weeks or longer. It’s normal for children to seem settled, then struggle again after illness, holidays or changes at home.
What if my child cries at drop-off?
Crying is very common and doesn’t mean your child isn’t coping. Often, children are reacting to separation rather than the setting itself. Many calm down once they are engaged in a familiar activity or supported by a trusted adult. Nursery staff are used to helping children through this transition every day. If crying at drop off is making you feel stressed, ask staff how long it took to settle down once you had left. They might have stopped before you had got to the end of the road!
My child is shy – should I be worried?
No. Shyness is not a problem. Some children like to watch for a while before joining in, while others prefer one-to-one interactions. Children often become more talkative as they feel comfortable, but some are naturally quiet. That’s something to celebrate, not push against. The amount of noise a child makes doesn’t affect how much they can learn or how much fun they can have. Every child is different, and whether they’re chatty, quiet, shy or bold, each personality is a gift to celebrate as they grow and learn.
What if my child doesn’t talk much yet?
Many children speak more once they feel emotionally secure. Even if your child doesn’t talk much, they can still take part, communicate and have their needs met. Nursery staff are trained to read non-verbal cues and daily routines are structured to ensure children get food, drink, comfort and support. A child who goes into nursery happily and comes out happy is very likely to feel safe and relaxed in the setting. Over time, being in play-based environment will allow their language to develop naturally: children copy words, repeat actions and join in at their own pace. Every child develops differently, in many areas, not just speech. If you have any concerns, nursery staff can advise you about your child’s language development.
What if English isn’t spoken at home?
Children learning English as an additional language often understand far more than they can say. Play helps bridge communication gaps through shared routines, imitation and interaction. Emotional security usually comes first, and spoken language follows naturally. You’ll be amazed by how quickly young children can pick up a new language.
Will my child actually be learning or just playing?
For children aged two to four, play is learning. Through play, children develop communication, physical skills, social understanding, emotional resilience, and early literacy and numeracy awareness. Much of this learning happens naturally and gradually.
What if my child gets upset easily?
Big emotions are very common in young children. They are still learning how to manage frustration, tiredness and separation. Safe, familiar environments help children calm down, recover and build emotional resilience over time.
What matters most in the early weeks at nursery or preschool?
Feeling safe, known, and accepted. Emotional security matters far more than academic progress in the early weeks. Once children feel settled and confident, learning follows naturally.
If you’re worried, it usually means you care deeply – your child is already benefitting from that care. Settling into nursery, preschool, or reception isn’t about getting it right straight away. It’s about giving children time, familiarity and reassurance as they take their first steps into a wider world. Once they feel at home, everything else begins to follow.
